It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact: LGBTQ rights are under attack in this country. This year, a record number of anti-LGBTQ bills have been introduced. As trans activist and drag performer Mariyea told me, her daily life — her mere existence — is resistance.
My kids and I love to watch “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” I consider myself a proud and fairly educated ally. But when my kids started asking me questions about who these queens love and who they date out of drag, I didn’t know how to answer them.
Allies can’t be afraid to acknowledge the gaps in our knowledge. We should lean into learning, even when that feels hard.
That’s a problem. True allies must not be afraid to acknowledge the gaps in our knowledge. We should lean into learning, even when that feels hard. I understand that a lot of people are uncomfortable with what they don’t know. The idea of pronouns, new ideas, new concepts — there is often an adjustment period for the unfamiliar.
But drag has existed throughout history. It’s not new. That’s part of why I’ve been so puzzled by the GOP’s recent vitriolic attacks on drag performers. Why now? What’s changed? So I got a group of four drag queens together to try to get some answers.
And right away I was (kindly) dragged. “Drag is a costume,” Rosé told me. “You’re in drag right now.” Sitting there with my fake eyelashes, a spray tan and hair extensions, I couldn’t argue with her assessment. Drag performers are no different from actors, singers, dancers, professional wrestlers or — yes — news anchors.
No one feels entitled to ask about my sex life. They respect my privacy. But somehow we as a society, me included, feel like we have the right to know who, how and why drag performers and other members of the LGBTQ community live and love. Putting on a giant wig and big eyelashes doesn’t forfeit your very American right to privacy.
Sitting with these four artists, who just want to bring love, light and entertainment to people, I felt a little embarrassed. It’s none of my business — or my kids’ business — to know the details of their private lives. That shame was exacerbated when the topic turned to Drag Queen Story Hours, which have been the targets of legislation, protests and even physical threats. When I asked why they existed, Rosé looked me in the eye and said: “To encourage children to read, to enjoy reading.”
Because of course they are. We’ve spent so much time as a society talking about how kids are falling behind in school and feeling increasingly isolated and depressed. Covid has contributed to a growing educational crisis as schools grapple with learning loss, teacher shortages and school shootings. Shouldn’t we be applauding people who want to just help kids learn?
Part of this drag queen panic could — very charitably — be chalked up to the unfamiliarity factor. Nicky O. told me that some people simply don’t know what to expect from drag queens. And some people are just scared of what they don’t know. But that is why it’s more important than ever to become informed. The media has a responsibility to get this right and drown out the personalities and bigots who would rather spew hate than take the time to actually understand. I get paid to ask questions and inform people for a living. If I can’t find the right words, perhaps that void gets filled by disinformation. The media has a responsibility to get this right and drown out the personalities and bigots who would rather spew hate than take the time to actually understand. Because ultimately, the fight against drag is really a proxy war. In some states, drag queens have been forced to the front lines by state legislators and advocates determined to find scapegoats. But make no mistake, the transgender community generally is under attack. And as I sat around that table, talking to these incredible queens, the “debate” over drag felt increasingly absurd — and rooted in lies. From the Catholic Church to the Boy Scouts, we have a lot of awful data when it comes to where and how youths are targeted. Drag performers, in contrast, are just spreading joy — and looking incredible while doing it. As Julie J. told me: “We’re leading with love. … Everything we put out in the world comes from a place of love.” Words for everyone, across the country, to live by.
Stephanie Ruhle
Stephanie Ruhle is host of “The 11th Hour” at 11 p.m. ET on MSNBC and senior business analyst for NBC News. 
