As the nation commemorated the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington over the last week, many of us turned to our parents to ask them their stories.
“Where were you on that day?”
“How is our country different?”
“Are you hopeful for the future?”
My best friend (and friend of this show) Blair Murphy Kelley could not have this talk with her mother—because her mom was dying. Blair, who is also a college professor like me, has been by the side of her mother, Frances, for the past year as she battled an aggressive, malignant brain tumor.
When her mother was diagnosed, Blair—already the mom of a terrific nine-year-old—was in the last trimester of her pregnancy with her son, now 10 months old. For months Blair has been nursing both her son and her mother. I have watched in awe as she has borne up under enormous stress, with unwavering grace, humor, and kindness. She and her husband celebrated their 12th anniversary last Sunday—the same day her parents, Frances and Leroy Murphy, achieved 51 years of marriage. Early Monday morning, Leroy held his beloved wife as she transitioned out of this life.
The Murphys are my family. Blair is truly a sister to me. Fran fussed over my wedding dress. My daughter called her “Grandma Murphy.” She watched MSNBC religiously and talked politics with me whenever we were together. She was snarky, funny, honest, generous and loving.
I will miss her. But not the way Blair will miss her.
This morning she will lay her mother to rest. Blair will miss Fran with excruciating, daily emptiness that will lessen but never disappear.
But Blair is more than Fran’s only child–she is a brilliant, trained academic historian. So Blair did not wait to get her mom’s stories, she learned her history, knew her childhood, and now that Fran is gone, Blair can pass the stories to her own children. I was so moved by the loving tribute Blair wrote for her mom I wanted to share it with #nerdland.









