“I’m fine – I will just go to urgent care when I need to.”
“I’d rather not know if there is something wrong.”
“I can’t take the time off from work.”
“They make me sit and wait forever.”
“I don’t want to talk about my issues in front of a woman.”
As a nurse and a male, I have heard (and even used) almost every excuse in the book for not keeping up with health checkups or waiting until the last – often painful – minute to seek help for a long-standing problem, like a mysterious growth or shortness of breath.
Men tend to minimize their health issues, seeking treatment only, as my colleagues and I like to say, “when something is falling off.” It’s no surprise that a Cleveland Clinic study found that 72 percent of men would rather do household chores than see their primary care doctor.
I am among the 12 percent of nurses in the country who are male, a tenfold increase in the past 40 years. The advent of more male nurses has not only benefited a profession that has been challenged by staffing shortages, but it has also — appropriately — benefitted the male patient population.
At Columbia University School of Nursing – where I am associate dean and co-founded our Men in Nursing program – we have discussed the role male providers can play in encouraging men to get regular screenings and care.
The only people who have heard more excuses from men about not seeking care are the friends and family who care for them. In fact, in a study done by the insurance company Aflac over half of men surveyed said it was their wife, girlfriend, or mother who motivated them to get medical help.
I like to think that my male colleagues and I can create an especially safe and comfortable space for a male to share what ails or worries him. And, the truth is, once he is in the office, behind closed doors, the barriers tend to fall.
So, in addition to creating the opportunity for the man or men in their lives to be cared for by a male, here are some ways a loving partner or caretaker can get their husbands, boyfriends, friends, brothers and even fathers to seek healthcare:
Encourage him to build a relationship with a healthcare provider. Creating a comfort level for difficult conversations and an initial appointment as a gateway to ongoing care is the first critical step. The traditional doctor’s office that used to serve an entire family for years is not the norm anymore. Most offices today no longer have a record of your family history or dynamics, so it is more important than ever to build a connection.
Take advantage of technology. Help the man or men in your life make the most of the way technology has advanced care. Telehealth visits allow him to close his office door and do a virtual appointment. It may not provide all the components of a comprehensive office visit, but it can be an important consultation or first step to care.
Lean into prevention. Try saying to him, “I care about your health and want you around for a long time.” Emphasize a preventative health mindset instead of a reactive one. It seems pretty obvious, but remind him that health outcomes are exponentially better if screenings and standard tests are up to date.









