How to let your boss know you have other job options — without quitting

Have you ever felt completely overlooked by your manager? Maybe you’ve worked late nights, taken on more projects than you can count, and even initiated new strategies to improve the team’s performance—but somehow, none of it seems to matter. The promotions, recognition, and raises just never seem to come your way. It’s frustrating, to say the least.

I remember one particular moment when I felt utterly resentful and unseen. I had just led a major project to success, and while I was expecting a conversation about a title change or at least a performance review, my boss barely acknowledged it. In fact, in sharing the project results with a satellite office, for 45 minutes she only used the word “I”, suggesting she had done the entire thing! That’s when it hit me: I need to do something to make my worth clear—but how?

Have you ever wanted to subtly signal to your manager that you have other job options—without resorting to ultimatums, threats, or quitting outright? Maybe you’ve asked for a better title or more responsibility and been met with excuses. So how do you strengthen your position, making it clear that staying in this role isn’t your only option?

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It’s a delicate balance. In her book “The Truth About Negotiations,” Northwestern University Professor Leigh Thompson recommends it’s far more effective to hint that you have alternatives than to flat-out threaten to leave. Here’s how to subtly let your manager know that others might be paying attention to your talent—and it’s time they did, too.

1. Mention Industry Interest:

Try: “I’ve been having some interesting conversations with others in our industry lately. It’s been insightful to see how they’re handling similar role challenges and opportunities.”

Why this works:

This statement does more than just name-drop—it subtly signals that you’re well-connected, and people in your field are noticing your expertise. It’s also non-threatening. You’re not saying you’re job hunting, but you’re letting your manager know that you’re having discussions with others who may recognize your talent. It shifts the dynamic by making them aware that you’re in demand, without any explicit threat of leaving.

What to keep in mind:

Timing and tone are everything here. You want to casually drop this into a conversation about industry trends or your role—something that feels natural. By making this comment as part of a broader dialogue about what’s happening in your field, you avoid sounding calculated or confrontational. The goal is to indicate your finger is on the pulse of your professional network without sounding like you’re waving another offer in their face. It’s more about showcasing your influence and staying relevant in your industry, rather than issuing a warning.

Pro tip:

Don’t overdo it. If you name-drop too frequently, your manager may feel you’re pushing too hard or, worse, may become suspicious of your commitment to the team. Just one or two well-placed comments during casual conversations will be enough to get the point across.

The mindset shift that will affirm your belonging in any workplace

2. Highlight Your Market Value:

Try: “I’ve noticed that roles similar to mine are being valued highly in the market right now. It’s encouraging to see the higher demand for the skills we use in our department.”

Why this works:

This technique allows you to express your awareness of your worth without sounding entitled. You’re not asking for a raise outright—you’re simply observing what’s happening in the job market. By doing so, you remind your manager that your skills are valuable, and others in the industry are willing to pay for that value. This positions you as someone who’s not just valuable in your current role but also attractive to outside companies.

What to keep in mind:

When using this approach, make sure your statement is grounded in fact. If your boss decides to look up salary trends and sees no change, it could hurt your credibility. You want to have a clear idea of salary benchmarks or how your role is trending in the marketplace. Websites like Glassdoor, LinkedIn Salary, or talking to headhunters or peers in similar roles can give you the data you need.

Pro tip:

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You can add to this statement by briefly highlighting your recent achievements. Something like, “With the success of the last two projects and the market’s demand for these skills, it’s clear we’re in a strong position to capitalize on these trends.” This brings your point back to the value you’re bringing to the company, increasing your leverage.

3. Discuss Career Growth:

Try: “I’m focused on continuing to grow and take on more responsibility. I want to make sure that my role here evolves to match that ambition.”

Why this works:

This approach conveys that you’re thinking long-term and are invested in your growth. You’re giving your manager the opportunity to show that your future at the company is being considered, while making it clear that you’re ready to move forward—either in your current role or somewhere else. It frames your ambition positively and gives your manager the chance to step up and provide you with what you need to stay engaged.

What to keep in mind:

While this is a subtle way of signaling your desire for career progression, be ready for a follow-up conversation. If your boss asks for specifics, it’s important to have concrete goals or desired responsibilities in mind. This way, you’re not just hinting at wanting more, but are prepared to discuss how that looks in terms of your career path within the company.

Pro tip:

Pair this with specific feedback you’ve received on your performance. For instance, “Based on the feedback from the last project, I know I’m ready to lead more initiatives or manage a larger team.” This adds weight to your statement, showing that your growth is not just a personal goal but something backed up by evidence of your achievements.

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Why Less Can Say More

No one likes being hit with an ultimatum. It can create unnecessary tension and cause your boss to become defensive or dismissive. But by casually keeping your manager informed that you’re aware of your market value, connected to others in your industry, and focused on growth, you put yourself in a position of power—without burning bridges. Remember, the goal isn’t to threaten or manipulate. It’s to gently nudge your manager to recognize your worth before someone else does. The best negotiations come from a place of mutual respect, and by using these subtle strategies, you’re setting yourself up for a more meaningful conversation about your future at the company.

 Selena Rezvani is a women’s leadership speaker and author of “Quick Confidence,” a Wall Street Journal bestseller, and “Pushback: How Smart Women Ask — And Stand Up — For What They Want,” which is now out in its second edition, fully updated and expanded. Through in-person training and online courses via LinkedIn Learning, Selena teaches professionals how to be fierce self-advocates and carve out leadership paths on their own terms. Follow her on TikTok, Instagram and LinkedIn or find her at www.selenarezvani.com.