Furtive glances. Stiff smiles. That little lean back in a chair that says, “Whatever you do, don’t call on me.”
If you’ve been in enough meetings, you can feel it instantly: the quiet that isn’t calm, it’s caution.
And it’s happening in conference rooms and Zoom grids everywhere.
It has nothing to do with talent or capability either. Workplaces are full of smart, committed professionals who care about their work — yet meeting after meeting, their voices are muted. Literally and figuratively. And many leaders assume this quiet is about employee confidence.
It isn’t.
If anything, the exchange in your meetings is the clearest window into your leadership style. When meetings are quiet, it’s rarely by accident; it’s a reflection of what’s been rewarded or what people perceive will be punished.
According to a study by DecisionWise, 34 percent of employees in the U.S. don’t speak up because of fear of retribution. And if your team rarely challenges ideas, asks questions, offers alternatives, or raises issues? It may be time to look in the mirror.
This is not about shame and blame, leaders. It’s about awareness, power dynamics, and the way you can either expand or shrink the space around you.
After two decades coaching emerging leaders, interviewing top executives, and writing leadership books — most recently “Quick Leadership: Build Trust, Navigate Change, and Cultivate Unstoppable Teams”, here’s what I tell my clients:
The quieter your team is, the more they’re managing you instead of contributing to the work.
They’re calculating risk. Gaging the temperature. Deciding if psychological safety is real or just something mentioned one time in manager training.
And when employees default to self-protection, let’s just say innovation dies long before a bad idea ever hits the whiteboard!
Why good people go quiet
People stay silent because at some point, they learned it was safer.
They’ve seen what happens to the person who disagrees too openly. They’ve watched input get punished, not rewarded. They’ve noticed who gets airtime — and who gets interrupted.
They’ve learned the meeting game: Speak carefully. Speak rarely. Speak last…Or not at all!
In fact, a McKinsey study found that only 26 percent of employees feel safe speaking up with concerns or mistakes. Leaders love to tell employees “stand out,” “speak up,” and “take initiative.” But if your reactions — open annoyance, eye rolls or hostility — teach them the opposite, your words stop mattering.
People notice how you act, respond, and interact far more than what you say in speeches.
The micromanagement trap
The most well-intentioned leaders cause silence without realizing it. They want things done well, so they constantly put their stamp on contributions and work, “adding value” even if it only makes it 5 percent better.
In meetings, frequent status updates, check-ins, or reviews can turn into a subtle micromanagement moment. When you sit in on most discussions or regularly question decisions, you send the same message as hovering over work: I don’t trust you to take ownership. And data backs this up: according to a Monster survey, 73 percent of workers view micromanagement as the biggest workplace red flag, and one of the main pain-points is house-keeping or status meetings that feel unnecessary.
But here’s the hidden impact:
Every time you “finish” someone’s work for them, in a meeting or elsewhere, you teach them to stop trying. You may think you’re improving quality. What you’re really doing is shrinking initiative and reinforcing dependence.
The mindset shift that will affirm your belonging in any workplace
This is especially true for women, people of color, first-gen professionals, and younger workers who already worry about proving they belong. If your team feels like their work is never “enough,” they stop taking creative risks and start aiming for safe, small thinking.
This is the opposite of excellence.
Signals You Might Be Stifling Initiative
How do you know if your leadership is unintentionally shutting people down?
Look for these signals:
These signals are real-time feedback loops. They’re not proof of employee weaknesses. The good news? They are reversible. How to make your meetings come alive again Here are three practical, engagement-building moves any leader can start this week: 1.Ask for thinking, not perfection Say this at the start of your next meeting: “Share your early thinking — it doesn’t have to be fully formed.” You’ll be amazed how quickly it unlocks contribution to let people offer a “first draft.” 2. Set contribution expectations, then model them Instead of “Any thoughts?” (which invites silence), try: “Before we move on, I’d like to hear one insight or question from each person.” That kind of structure builds inclusion. When it’s your turn, you can go back to tip #1, and say something like “I’m not 100 percent sold on this idea, but here’s where my head is…” You’ve now normalized in-progress thinking. 3.Respond like someone who wants more input Even when input surprises you, try: “Thank you. Say more about that… I want to understand your angle,” or “Even if we don’t go that route, I’m glad you said it.” That one sentence keeps the door open. Trust builds in moments like these, not in frigid retreats. A quiet room isn’t a calm room Leaders often mistake silence for alignment or peace. No news is good news, right? But it’s not calm, it’s more likely to be withdrawal. And withdrawal is costly. It strips organizations of creativity, urgency, and edge. Want bold ideas? Make it safe to be bold first. Selena Rezvani is a leadership speaker and coach and the author of the new book, “Quick Leadership: Build Trust, Navigate Change, and Cultivate Unstoppable Teams.” For more information, visit: www.selenarezvani.com.
Selena Rezvani
Selena Rezvani is a women’s leadership speaker and author of “Quick Confidence,” a Wall Street Journal bestseller, and “Pushback: How Smart Women Ask – And Stand Up – For What They Want.” Through in-person training and online courses via LinkedIn Learning, Selena teaches professionals how to be fierce self-advocates and carve out leadership paths on their own terms. Follow her on TikTok, Instagram and LinkedIn or find her at www.selenarezvani.com. Recommended
