3 mindset shifts when negotiating a raise

I was 26 years old the first time I asked for a raise. At the time, I was a scrappy, hard-working management consultant. I found out from a male peer with the same job that I was getting paid thousands of dollars less than him…over lunch.

Here I had the hard evidence that I wasn’t getting paid my due, but somehow that wasn’t the most uncomfortable part. What was worse was the way I felt. I was terrified of actually asking my manager for a raise. And, if I’m being honest, I felt like I was 9 years old asking my strict dad for a big weekly allowance.

Have you ever been there?

Maybe you’ve gotten nervous and started wondering if you’ve been “good” enough to merit a raise or promotion or if you “deserve” it. Or perhaps you think you should be grateful for what you have right now – it’s enough for you to get by, at least!

If you’ve been with the same company for a few years, you’ve probably assumed new responsibilities and learned additional skills that deserve a salary increase. And when you find yourself going above and beyond, it’s natural to think that you’ll be acknowledged…and paid. But unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

You must speak up.

And that means you have to leave behind that anxious mindset when asking for money. You must shift into your power, so you aren’t just getting by – you’re thriving!

Here are three power shifts to adopt when asking your employer for a raise:

1. Remember that you’re not asking for a personal favor.

Sure, you probably have a long list of personal reasons for asking for a raise. Your rent just went up, grocery prices are astronomical, you’re planning for a larger expense… Although these are valid reasons for needing more money, it isn’t exactly your employer’s responsibility to fund them.

Your salary is compensation for the value you bring to a company. So, that’s what you should focus on when asking for a raise. Stay objective and keep emotions out of the conversation. Your employer will be more open to negotiating your salary if you bring cold, hard data and facts that pertain to your position. So, think about hard results achieved, accolades clients and leaders have given you and how other projects led to meaningful business outcomes.

2. Repeat after me: It’s OK to talk to others about money

Most of us were raised thinking it’s impolite to talk about money – that it’s cringey to ask someone how much they make! But this is a toxic mindset that contributes to the wage gap, particularly for women and people of color. If you don’t know how much people in your line of work make, how could you ever know if your pay is fair or not?

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Research the average salary for similar positions in your area and comparable cities and talk to your co-workers and colleagues about their take-home pay and benefits. Accept calls from recruiters and let them give you a going rate for someone with your skills. If your compensation is significantly lower, you can use that information to make your case when asking for a raise.

3. All timing isn’t created equal; bargain when your leverage is high

The best time to ask for a raise is when you have the most bargaining chips. Before you step into any kind of negotiation, you should arm yourself with information that supports your case. When you have some major accomplishments under your belt and are a proven asset to the company, securing a higher salary becomes much easier.

One lethal mistake is waiting until performance review time to ask for more, when salaries and adjustments have often already been decided. That’s why it’s better to ask for a raise when your personal value is fresh on people’s minds, let’s say after a big win or major client accolade.

Remember, very few things in life happen all on their own.

It would be awesome if our employers automatically handed out raises after a big accomplishment or significant milestone. Unfortunately, the powers that be are usually too consumed with their own responsibilities to consider how your performance aligns (or doesn’t align) with your take-home pay.

So, you have to take responsibility for your salary and be your own advocate. You are the Chief Negotiator of your value. Assess your own performance, set up a meeting with your manager, and be the one to start the conversation. You’re more likely to get what you want when you know your worth.